Refreshed.

I got to spend the last couple days in the next town at my sister's house. It was so great to spend time with her and her kids.  It was definitely refreshing and I'm glad to know I'll be able to do it more often. After how I was feeling this week, it was much needed.

It's back to work tomorrow and although I don't want to, I'm at least dealing with it. I'm feeling much better than I was last week, so I'm counting my blessings.

anxieties.

Have you ever noticed that when you feel anxious, you have dreams about past regrets or bad experiences? It's as if your anxiety leaves your mind open and vulnerable to everything that once made you anxious. Or maybe that's just me. It's a terrible experience.

I've been so anxious lately. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually drowning in my anxiety, because that's what it feels like. I was in a pretty dark place yesterday at work, and a couple of the girls were just joking around like normal and it was just the wrong place and the wrong time type of thing. I got really annoyed and kind of grouched at them. I've felt guilty about it for the entire day today even though I already apologized. It was a human moment, and I feel incredible guilty because of it. I've realized lately how much I try to hide away and not let people see.

I find myself lately being so thankful that Jaspaul accepts me how I am. Because I don't feel like many people (other than family) actually accept me for me. I am always hiding parts of me and trying pretend they don't exist. And it's not just because I dislike those parts of me or that I'm trying to put the best version of myself forward, because those things are both true, but I realized the main reason is because I don't actually think people are going to like me despite all those things.

Some deep dark insights for the night.

Weather

The weather has been so nice lately. I think today it was actually 10 degrees, and the sun has been shining for the past 4 days. I hope the weather stays like this, and that we're actually coming into spring. There's just something so amazing about the sun, it just brightens everything up. I can't help but smile when I go outside and it's sunny :) And I love not having to wear a winter jacket!

Brief update

Here's just a quick update since I haven't blogged in a couple weeks.

I went to the Goo Goo Dolls concert on March 1st, and it was amazing. Freakin' fantastic! There's not a lot else I can say... it was just truly amazing and if I have the chance, I will for sure see them again! They are my favourite band for sure and I was definitely living out one of my dreams to see them live!

Not much else to update.. work is still so so, but I'm enjoying it more so than before. I think the management changes so far have made me feel better about my work environment. They're also doing some new hiring soon, so I'm hoping for some new friends! I'm just trying to enjoy every day and find happiness in the little things.  And my birthday is only a month away, so once I start making plans for it I know I'll start to be excited and look forward to it.

So all in all, things are pretty good right now :)