RSWs

So today I learned a lot about being a registered social worker. So here's what I knew about it before today: A person with a social work diploma can only be registered in the province of Alberta, so jobs that require a registered social worker will probably look past someone who isn't registered. Which would be great if we were staying in Edmonton, but neither of us really want to =P

So this worried me sometimes, because I felt like going back to BC and not being registered would hinder me or limit the jobs that I can have. But here's what I learned today: In Alberta, it's not an option to register. Even with a diploma, you HAVE to register. That's not a big deal but this part is-- only people with "social work" diploma and degrees can/have to register. So this means my girlfriend who graduated with a human ecology degree and has a job in the social work field is not a registered social worker, and she can not call herself a social worker. Anyone who graduates from another local university with a child and youth worker degree, can not be registered and can't call themselves a social worker. And all these people go on to with in the social work field, but they are not "social workers." So in BC, I guess registration is not required. Most non profits and even government jobs don't care whether or not a person is registered. Now whether they can call themselves social workers or not, I'm not sure.

So basically what I learned today, is it's not a huge deal whether or not I am a registered social worker or not. The way they kept talking about it, it seemed like it might be hard to get a job without it. But after learning that so many people employed in the social work field don't have a registered title, I definitely felt better.

DO MORE!!

I am constantly fighting this feeling that I'm behind and that I need to do more. I swear it's on repeat in my head "Do more.. do more.." but by the end of the weekend, I've always completed all my essential work for the week. Then usually I'll start bits and pieces of papers that aren't due for a while. I think I'm in pretty good shape homework wise, but I guess it's just my brain not used to being back in school. I know there is always something that can be done, but it's a balancing act. I have to stop and relax sometimes, and tell myself that it's okay! So I'm learning how to do that.

I took most of this weekend off though, between J's birthday, and cleaning the apartment. We got a notice that they would be inspecting our place (I thought it was because we'd been here for a year, but they're inspecting everyone's places. It must be a yearly thing). And we had not done a good clean since we moved in. We keep it decently clean, but not the entire apartment at once. It was a lot of work compared to what we're used to, but it looks so good!

J's bday was pretty low key. We went to the mall and got some clothes. We found some great sales at old navy. ($19 jeans, we love sales!). And then we had lunch at Boston Pizza. It was low key, but a good day.

I'm slowly making diet changes as well. Trying to eat more veggies and fruits, smaller meals more often, and actually having home cooked meals. No change in weight so far, but I know that overall I'm being healthier :)

Mantras

I'm feeling better each day about the whole diploma vs bachelor situation, but I still have lingering anxiety. I have such a deep rooted fear of failure. I have a deep rooted fear of feeling the need to be perfect. I don't know who I need to be perfect for, or where it comes from.

My new mantras:

Decide, commit, succeed. It doesn't matter what my other options are, my commitment is to the social work diploma. I'm optimistic that it'll get me to where I want to go. And if it doesn't, then I'll go back to the drawing board. It shouldn't be seen as a failure. I think that's what life is all about, going back to the drawing board many times over.

I am not perfect, but I'm perfect the way that I am. I don't believe this 100%, but that's the purpose of a mantra, is to start changing your thought patterns. In this moment in time, I don't think I'm good enough.. but I'm working on it. I'm taking the steps that I can in order to change my mental state.

Aha

Originally when I started the whole school hunting process, I only wanted to do the diploma. I know I've said this all before, but I'm reiterating a couple things, because I had a light bulb moment yesterday.  So I knew I only wanted to do the diploma. Norquest sounded like an amazing place, so I looked into it further. I knew that I'd probably upgrade to the Bachelor or even Masters (with a condensed program that skips the bachelor) later down the line, but that would be for when I have the money to do it. So I decided that the diploma could get me to where I wanted to go for the next couple years. And who knows, maybe I decide to finish this diploma, work a couple years, and then pop out some kids! Haha. You just never know. Because if you think about it, in 6 years, I'll be 30. 2 years of this program, and I'll be 26. Work for a couple years, and maybe I'm ready to have kids. The point of saying this, is just that you never know what's going to happen. And maybe I'll find a job right out of the diploma and never need to go back and finish the bachelor.

So I've definitely calmed down about the whole situation. I just had to ask myself what brought me here in the first place, and why I made the decision that I did. Plus there are lots of people working in the social work/human service area with diplomas, and even without diplomas. Sometimes we feel this need to have credentials, but work experience and attitude can be just as important.

This brings us to my "Aha" moment. I realized that the reason I was so worried, is because if I came out of the diploma without a job, I would feel as though I had failed. But I'm okay with starting over and going back to the drawing board.. but I worry about being judged by other people. To be 26 and not have a career to show for anything, I'd be worried about what other people thought. Once I realized this, I felt silly. It's a huge issue in my life to be worried about what others think. Friends, relatives, close family.. I didn't want to come out of the diploma, after coming out of my bachelor, and need to re think things again. But I'm going to try my hardest over the next couple years to rebuild my confidence again. This is my life, and if I'm okay with it, that should be all that matters. It also helps that I have a partner who supports me, because he's never made me worry that I won't be good enough.

I have to take the next 2 years to work on my confidence, and be that go getter that could have gotten a job without any education. I've seen that it's possible, so with a bachelor and a diploma, I'm going to find a great job. I'm going to start taking steps to believe in myself again.

Panic

I had a panic attack today after going to the social work orientation. They talk about what a great program this is, and I believe it, but they also talk a lot about transferring courses to the university after. So for those of us that are not wanting to go onto the bachelor, it seems kind of concerning. The bachelor will definitely give a higher pay grade, and access to more jobs, but I am pretty sure that for what I want to do, the diploma will be fine. And there is always time later in life to go back and do a bachelor. The other thing was too is I think an admissions lady gave me some misinformation. She told me that I could apply to a university and skip the first 2 years and go straight to the social work part. I'm going to double check this just in case, but I don't think it's true. So anyways I had a break down about it.. but after remembering why I didn't choose to do a university program (Most of the unis in the area have the child and youth program at the university, so it is very focused on that, which pigeon holes you in a different way), I remembered the reason that I chose this program.

I think at this point I'm hoping that what she said wasn't true, because I'll feel like I've wasted time. And if J decides to go back home after school like we'd talked about if he gets a job, I don't want to be living in Edmonton by myself for 1-2 years. So at this point I'm hoping that I was right that the diploma was the best option for me, and just stick with it.  I guess it's another wait and see kind of thing.

School

Today was my first day of school! It wasn't anything too exciting.. I only had English and we talked about plagiarism for an entire 20 minutes.. haha.  I know the first week is never exciting because the profs just go over the syllabus, but it's just exciting in general to be starting a new chapter in my life.

I can't believe I am finished my job. I keep thinking I should look up my next schedule, but there isn't one! haha. It'll be such a good feeling when it finally sinks in :)