Aha

Originally when I started the whole school hunting process, I only wanted to do the diploma. I know I've said this all before, but I'm reiterating a couple things, because I had a light bulb moment yesterday.  So I knew I only wanted to do the diploma. Norquest sounded like an amazing place, so I looked into it further. I knew that I'd probably upgrade to the Bachelor or even Masters (with a condensed program that skips the bachelor) later down the line, but that would be for when I have the money to do it. So I decided that the diploma could get me to where I wanted to go for the next couple years. And who knows, maybe I decide to finish this diploma, work a couple years, and then pop out some kids! Haha. You just never know. Because if you think about it, in 6 years, I'll be 30. 2 years of this program, and I'll be 26. Work for a couple years, and maybe I'm ready to have kids. The point of saying this, is just that you never know what's going to happen. And maybe I'll find a job right out of the diploma and never need to go back and finish the bachelor.

So I've definitely calmed down about the whole situation. I just had to ask myself what brought me here in the first place, and why I made the decision that I did. Plus there are lots of people working in the social work/human service area with diplomas, and even without diplomas. Sometimes we feel this need to have credentials, but work experience and attitude can be just as important.

This brings us to my "Aha" moment. I realized that the reason I was so worried, is because if I came out of the diploma without a job, I would feel as though I had failed. But I'm okay with starting over and going back to the drawing board.. but I worry about being judged by other people. To be 26 and not have a career to show for anything, I'd be worried about what other people thought. Once I realized this, I felt silly. It's a huge issue in my life to be worried about what others think. Friends, relatives, close family.. I didn't want to come out of the diploma, after coming out of my bachelor, and need to re think things again. But I'm going to try my hardest over the next couple years to rebuild my confidence again. This is my life, and if I'm okay with it, that should be all that matters. It also helps that I have a partner who supports me, because he's never made me worry that I won't be good enough.

I have to take the next 2 years to work on my confidence, and be that go getter that could have gotten a job without any education. I've seen that it's possible, so with a bachelor and a diploma, I'm going to find a great job. I'm going to start taking steps to believe in myself again.