Values

I had my second counseling session today. We talked more about meditation and anxiety, and we talked about looking at ourselves from a place of non judgment. I'm not at the point of looking at myself without judgment, but that's what meditation teaches. It's a place I want to get to though. I talked about how I have a difficult time with affirmations, because I am at the point where I don't believe them. I know it's a "fake it til you make it" sort of thing, but I'm not even at the point where I can fake them. We're talking about the things you tell yourself, like mantras, to create positivity or encourage whatever you're lacking or want to increase. Like "I'm a strong confident woman" "I am beautiful inside and out" and things like that. So she said it would be helpful for me to just write out some values. Instead of saying "I am confident. I am strong. I am beautiful", etc, write down that I value these things. She said that's the first step, and as my anxiety decreases, I'll eventually get to the place where these will become affirmations. So here it goes...

I value...

Confidence
Strength
Forgiveness
Compassion
Love

New beginnings

Today was my first session with a counselor at school. Decided it was time to start getting my issues sorted out. I think it'll be good for me. She's got me started on meditation sessions that is actually through an app on my iphone. So I'll try my first one this weekend. It's to help me with my breathing and trying to be more mindful- being in the here and now. Anxiety usually means you're not living in the here and now. You're dwelling in the future usually. They say depression is dwelling in the past, and anxiety is dwelling in the future. I've known for a while that meditation would probably be inevitable. It just seems daunting when you have a mind that never stops. But I'm looking forward to it, and I think/hope it's what's going to start me on my road to recovery.

WE DAY

So I made it to We Day this past weekend!! It was so awesome. I was a crowd pumper, so I got to see the entire show and basically dance around and cheer really loud. Haha. Basically I was there to make sure the crowd was excited. And I was able to be on the floor, so I saw everything.

Here are some of the people that I got to see:

Dave Williams
Silken Laumenn
Kardinal official, Karl Wolf, and JRDN
Alyssa Reid
Nikki Yanofsky

And sooo many more.. these are just the people/performers I can think of off the top of my head. And of course Craig and Mark!! I was so excited to hear Craig speak.

I also got to see some great people. I saw some close friends from University and stayed at a good friend's house. It was great to explore the city a little bit, because it was really my first time being there. We took the train lots and had dinner one night down town. All in all it was a great trip, and I'm glad that I was able to go!