So it's been a long time. Obviously I'm not an avid blogger. I seem to blog when my mind is bursting, and only then do I put the pen to paper, or fingers to the keyboard. Things have slowly been eating away at me for the last couple months, and I figure it's time to write them down.
I finished school at the end of last December. I then got a temporary job, as I had an exciting trip planned to Indonesia and needed funding. It was much harder finding a job than I had expected, and it took much longer than I thought it would. This was my first sign that maybe education wasn't the only golden ticket needed to find a great job. You see, I had previously been so optimistic that I would be able to get my dream job the moment I wanted it, although I told myself I wanted to travel first. So this difficult to attain, temporary job planted the first seed of doubt into my mind.
After my wonderful trip to Indonesia, I found myself back in Vernon living with my family. Although I enjoy being in my mother's company, it wasn't the ideal situation. I knew I wouldn't be there too long, but I sat with the question of what to do with my life? Do I head straight to Edmonton with Jaspual who is pursuing his higher education? Do I apply to my highschool "dream job" of working for Free the Children? Or do I pretend to look for jobs while I hide out in my room in the safety of my family's home? The last option sounds silly, but for someone with extreme anxiety issues... I have to tell you, it was a viable option in my mind.
I am currently living in Edmonton with my boyfriend. I applied to all the jobs I could at Free the Children. I applied in Vancouver and Toronto. I applied for internships, and paid positions. Just in case, I even applied for jobs I wasn't qualified for. Because I figured, you just never know. I decided when I was 18 that I wanted to work for Free the Children. I had just finished Global Education, and Free the Children was perfect. I was bright eyed, and believed anything was possible. It hurts what little ego I have to say this, but I didn't hear back. I was actually surprised, seeing as how I got a call back last September when I applied to a job for them. I wasn't able to go past the initial interview as they needed someone sooner than I could start since I was still in school, but I was definitely left with the impression that I was perfect for the job. All I can do is tell myself that the positions weren't the right fit, and it just wasn't the right time. It's one of those things we have to tell ourselves so that it doesn't sting so much... and we just have to hope it's true.
I was defeated for a while.. but now I realize that it's still possible for the future. Maybe right now isn't the right time, but maybe 3 years from now will be (or maybe 5 years from now, who knows). And I really do believe this. Or maybe I'll never work for Free the Children. But that's another thing that I'm coming to terms with. This job that I wanted when I was 18, maybe it doesn't fit with the person that I am at 23. Or, maybe it does. Life has a way of working itself out. Life seems to work out the best when I let it do it's thing, but I need to do everything I can to help it along. So for now, I'm putting myself out there in every way possible. I'm applying to jobs I'm "over qualified" for, and I'm applying to jobs that scare me a little more. And I'm going to go where life takes me after that. Because we're all going to get bumps and bruises along the way, but we all have our own lives and we need to figure them out for ourselves.
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